Aw I'm so touched. You wanna be the Peter Parker to my Gwen Stacy? You're welcome to save me any day. Not that I can't take care of myself. I've met way more brutish people than him though just saying.
You in need of new shoes? I can keep an eye out.
Your brother is fine. Probably. I mean I think. He usually is.
I can't find Gordon and I don't know if he knows where it is. I get antsy when I can't find my stuff. I don't really know the people here other than you two.
Antsy is an understatement I'm kind of freaking out.
[ give him a minute or two while text-to-speech reads this long-ass message out loud to him, and another minute to pick out the important parts to respond to. ]
Hold on. Who or what is Gordon? Context clues lead me to believe you named a crowbar, but that also sounds kind of, maybe, like it could be a stretch.
[ Look. If she wanted to be judged she'd be talking to Art... who never vocally judged her for Gordon SO HOW DARE YOU??? ]
Gordon is my crowbar. You live in the Wasteland for months and try not to randomly name things. I take it back you can't be my Peter Parker he'd never judge me for this.
I mean... I don't really ever. I mean sometimes I kinda say I am and kinda do what they want but do my own thing. Mostly I just follow your brother around when I'm bored.
But sometimes I need fresh air. To read some different comics. Don't you ever get antsy?
[ all the time. he doesn't tap it out, but more or less exhales the words out loud to himself instead. he's always so fucking antsy, always trying to tamp it down or get the energy out of him in ways that aren't going to set art off into some kind of unnecessary lecture.
but that's more of a personal problem, so, all she gets is: ]
Sometimes.
You know that if I ask him if he's seen Gordon it's pretty much the same as mentioning you by name, right?
What am I supposed to do with comics? Are you going to read them to me, describe every panel in great detail? Not to imply that I'd be opposed, but that's a lot of work.
Are you asking if I have echolocation?
[ casually deflects from half of those questions it's fine. ]
I can. I wouldn't mind that. I mean, you've been pretty cold on the whole Spider-Man stuff which is kind of a tragedy. Maybe I'll bring some of my favorites over sometime and do that. Comics aren't all about the art. I mean, some of them are drawn pretty badly but have pretty cool stories.
No. That'd be stupid. I wouldn't ask that. Right? I mean like. Don't your other senses get better when one of them stops?
Spider-Man is great. Or, at least it was when I was keeping up years ago. Daredevil is kind of more my thing now, as cliché as that may be.
Sort of. Since I don't use the part of my brain that processes images anymore, that energy is focused more on the other senses. I'm not really sure if they're IMPROVED, or if I just pay closer attention to what I can hear/smell/etc. so I can get around easier.
I snap my fingers a lot. Usually down by my side when I'm around other people, and not when there's a lot going on, but — is that why you ask?
He... complains. But he complains about literally everything because he's a baby, and he only allows himself to smile maybe once a year. What a tragedy.
Yes, it counts. Also, I'm going to need you to call or text me ahead of time before you kick his ass so I can be there for it.
My dreams are like yours, I guess. I can only dream of things I've seen before, things from my memories, so Art always looks, like, sixteen when I dream about him. Same with Benji. I don't actually know what Dodge looks like, but I know what golden retrievers look like in general so he just looks like any old golden retriever in my dreams.
Oh don't worry. I know. He says he doesn't like me all the time. I don't really care. As long as he doesn't trip me while we're running away from anyone.
Well. We're still at the I attack him and get flipped over and slammed into the ground and have my lungs cry because all the air is knocked out of them phase of learning how to fight him. But I've gotten harder to do that to.
You also dream about having an entire zoo of animals? Because that's what all my dreams are. [ No they're not....... ] I look awesome. Just so you know.
Wait. So you don't know what you look like? Arm Candy this is the most tragic thing I've read today.
Yeah, I wouldn't count on that. I wouldn't put it past him.
Oh my god, you're actually crazy. I love it. I mean, not the part where you get the wind knocked out of you by my asshole of a brother, but look at you go.
Hahaha. Dodge is more than enough for me. But "awesome" is kind of broad, you know.
I mean, I have a general idea of what I look like. I know I have brown hair and light brown eyes, and I know there's a handful of moles on my face and neck. I could probably use a haircut. But the last time I saw my face clearly was almost six years ago. Art says we're ugly though, so thank god my eyes went to shit, huh?
He lets me hide behind him all the time, I think if he planned on murdering me he'd have done it by now. But maybe. Sucks for him. I'm kind of like a roach. Hot right?
I want to learn how to protect myself and he won't teach me so I'm just going to harass him until I learn via osmosis or something.
Is this a subtle way of asking me to describe myself. Because I really like awesome. Okay, well I'm almost as pale as you, which is surprising since I lived out there for a while. Blue eyes, blonde hair. Long hair. Resting bitch face. Shorter than you. A nose. A face. Y'know. People features. I'll allow one moment of romantic touching my face to "see" in the future. But it has to be fairytale or I'm suing you.
Wouldn't call ya Arm Candy if you were ugly. Art says a lot of stupid shit anyway. My rule of thumb is if he's talking you should pretty much ignore him. Unless he's doing that thing with his eyebrows. Not that you can tell if he's doing a thing with his eyebrows, so maybe just rule of thumb number one.
I think if he was ever going to murder someone, he wouldn't plan it. Less time for the crime if it's accidental and not premeditated, or whatever.
You should know that when it comes to Art, persistence is key. Annoy the shit out of him until he can't do anything but agree to whatever it is you want in the hopes you'll get out of his hair. But don't tell him I told you that.
Do you have freckles? Are your ears pierced? Nose, maybe? Bangs, no bangs? I don't like doing the whole face-touching thing that much. It helps ME, but it usually just makes people feel weird and uncomfortable, so words are usually better. Details.
Also, I know what eyebrow thing you're talking about. He's been doing that since we were kids. I can't see when he does it anymore, but sometimes I can kind of feel it in his tone, if that makes any sense. Unless he's got a new eyebrow thing I don't know about.
Maybe, but he'd have to try really really hard. I'm not afraid of him. Underneath that awful layer of dickery and rudeness is another layer of the same thing, but beyond that I think he's got a teeny tiny little gooey center. Maybe. He's like a fucked up clam.
I already annoy the shit out of him. But your secret is safe with me. It's not like I can't fight it's just I want to be able to fight better. Y'know?
No freckles other than on my shoulders when I get too much sun. Ears are pierced. Nose is not. Needles that close to my face are a no thanks. (My ears were done when I was too young to tell my mom no way.) Bangs that I usually sweep to the side because they get in my eyes way too often. Yeah, but I'm giving you a freebie where there's no weirdness or uncomfortableness.
This less gooey center and more... unexpected pearl. Don't tell him I said that, either.
I know you do. He annoys the shit out of me complaining about how you annoy the shit out of him. He's probably one of the better people to learn from, though. I also might be a little bit biased.
Why not trim your bangs if they get in your eyes? Do you sweep them to the same side, or just whatever gets your hair out of your eyes fast enough?
He also used to do this thing where he'd touch right in front of his left ear with his middle and ring finger when he was anxious about something. Like right where your jaw hinges. I don't know if he does that anymore.
Unexpected pearl? Woah. Haven't seen that yet. I'll have to keep my eye out for it. Another secret safe with me. Soon I'll be able to blackmail you.
Oh. Sorry I guess. I mean not really, I don't regret annoying him. Besides if he wasn't so hard headed maybe I wouldn't annoy him so much. ... No that's a lie. I totally would. Can you fight?
Last time I cut my bangs it was... an experience. A bad experience. I used to get someone at the facility I'm from to do it but. Not going back there. Maybe I'll try again sometime. Whatever side. They're at an awkward length where they like fall in my face no matter what I do. Wow, I'm talking way too much about my hair for this to actually be interesting.
Good to know, very good to know. You're like the Noodles whisperer. I'll have to keep an eye for it. Any other tips and tricks I should know?
I'm not very nice when someone crosses me. Just a warning.
Don't be sorry. He's annoyed by pretty much everything, so I'm used to it. And him. But yes, I can fight. Not really the same way most people do. I'm better at deflecting and using peoples' center of gravity and their momentum against them, listening to where they are in relation to myself, paying attention to the shift in the air. I'm better at one-on-one, for obvious reasons. Kind of terrible if it's myself against many. I'm sure none of that made any sense.
You're not talking too much. I asked because I want to know. The more details, the better the mental image is. I can't really put a puzzle together if I don't have all the pieces.
I'm not any kind of whisperer, I'm just exactly what you said: his brother. And as his brother, I'm probably expected to show some amount of loyalty or something, so I'll be holding on to the rest of his secrets. For now.
So you're basically a cute less broody Daredevil. That's pretty cool. You should show me some of what you know so I can use it on your brother because all of that sounds bad ass. It totally made sense though. You've still got your 6th sense or whatever. Like when you know people are watching you, right?
I'm a puzzle? Wow, you must really be bored.
Alright. Fair enough. I can respect a loyal dude. I'll probably figure them out anyway.
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If it's his? Well, I get dibs on his phone and his most comfortable pair of shoes.
For real, though, how serious is this?
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You in need of new shoes? I can keep an eye out.
Your brother is fine. Probably. I mean I think. He usually is.
I can't find Gordon and I don't know if he knows where it is. I get antsy when I can't find my stuff. I don't really know the people here other than you two.
Antsy is an understatement I'm kind of freaking out.
I was gonna go out but not without my crowbar.
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Hold on. Who or what is Gordon? Context clues lead me to believe you named a crowbar, but that also sounds kind of, maybe, like it could be a stretch.
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Gordon is my crowbar. You live in the Wasteland for months and try not to randomly name things. I take it back you can't be my Peter Parker he'd never judge me for this.
Kick me while I'm down why don't you.
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My phone is named Bishop.
[ not that he ever actually calls it bishop out loud. at least not very frequently, anyway. ]
Are you going out on orders?
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Yeah. Sorry.
That's a pretty good name.
I mean... I don't really ever. I mean sometimes I kinda say I am and kinda do what they want but do my own thing. Mostly I just follow your brother around when I'm bored.
But sometimes I need fresh air. To read some different comics. Don't you ever get antsy?
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but that's more of a personal problem, so, all she gets is: ]
Sometimes.
You know that if I ask him if he's seen Gordon it's pretty much the same as mentioning you by name, right?
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That's why I need you to ask him where he is. So I can ask him to his face. I'll pay you back with a pair or shoes. Or comics. Or something.
Why don't you ever go outside with us? You're like blind not helpless, right? You can like... see with your ears like a bat or something right?
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Are you asking if I have echolocation?
[ casually deflects from half of those questions it's fine. ]
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I can. I wouldn't mind that. I mean, you've been pretty cold on the whole Spider-Man stuff which is kind of a tragedy. Maybe I'll bring some of my favorites over sometime and do that. Comics aren't all about the art. I mean, some of them are drawn pretty badly but have pretty cool stories.
No. That'd be stupid. I wouldn't ask that. Right? I mean like. Don't your other senses get better when one of them stops?
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Sort of. Since I don't use the part of my brain that processes images anymore, that energy is focused more on the other senses. I'm not really sure if they're IMPROVED, or if I just pay closer attention to what I can hear/smell/etc. so I can get around easier.
I snap my fingers a lot. Usually down by my side when I'm around other people, and not when there's a lot going on, but — is that why you ask?
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That's kind of cool. I mean it sucks that you can't see but it's cool that you can do stuff like that.
I haven't noticed you do it. I was just curious about you. It's kind of what I do. Ask a lot of questions.
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I don't mind questions, so long as they aren't ignorant. How is anyone supposed to learn anything if they don't ask questions?
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Aw. Noodles talks about me? That's so sweet. Thanks. I try.
I'm learning how to beat Noodles up by watching him. Does that count? But seriously being a jerk about something you can't really help is shitty.
What are your dreams like? At the other compound I used to know someone who only dreamed in black and white for some reason.
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Yes, it counts. Also, I'm going to need you to call or text me ahead of time before you kick his ass so I can be there for it.
My dreams are like yours, I guess. I can only dream of things I've seen before, things from my memories, so Art always looks, like, sixteen when I dream about him. Same with Benji. I don't actually know what Dodge looks like, but I know what golden retrievers look like in general so he just looks like any old golden retriever in my dreams.
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Well. We're still at the I attack him and get flipped over and slammed into the ground and have my lungs cry because all the air is knocked out of them phase of learning how to fight him. But I've gotten harder to do that to.
You also dream about having an entire zoo of animals? Because that's what all my dreams are. [ No they're not....... ] I look awesome. Just so you know.
Wait. So you don't know what you look like? Arm Candy this is the most tragic thing I've read today.
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Oh my god, you're actually crazy. I love it. I mean, not the part where you get the wind knocked out of you by my asshole of a brother, but look at you go.
Hahaha. Dodge is more than enough for me. But "awesome" is kind of broad, you know.
I mean, I have a general idea of what I look like. I know I have brown hair and light brown eyes, and I know there's a handful of moles on my face and neck. I could probably use a haircut. But the last time I saw my face clearly was almost six years ago. Art says we're ugly though, so thank god my eyes went to shit, huh?
That was a joke.
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I want to learn how to protect myself and he won't teach me so I'm just going to harass him until I learn via osmosis or something.
Is this a subtle way of asking me to describe myself. Because I really like awesome. Okay, well I'm almost as pale as you, which is surprising since I lived out there for a while. Blue eyes, blonde hair. Long hair. Resting bitch face. Shorter than you. A nose. A face. Y'know. People features. I'll allow one moment of romantic touching my face to "see" in the future. But it has to be fairytale or I'm suing you.
Wouldn't call ya Arm Candy if you were ugly. Art says a lot of stupid shit anyway. My rule of thumb is if he's talking you should pretty much ignore him. Unless he's doing that thing with his eyebrows. Not that you can tell if he's doing a thing with his eyebrows, so maybe just rule of thumb number one.
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You should know that when it comes to Art, persistence is key. Annoy the shit out of him until he can't do anything but agree to whatever it is you want in the hopes you'll get out of his hair. But don't tell him I told you that.
Do you have freckles? Are your ears pierced? Nose, maybe? Bangs, no bangs? I don't like doing the whole face-touching thing that much. It helps ME, but it usually just makes people feel weird and uncomfortable, so words are usually better. Details.
Also, I know what eyebrow thing you're talking about. He's been doing that since we were kids. I can't see when he does it anymore, but sometimes I can kind of feel it in his tone, if that makes any sense. Unless he's got a new eyebrow thing I don't know about.
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I already annoy the shit out of him. But your secret is safe with me. It's not like I can't fight it's just I want to be able to fight better. Y'know?
No freckles other than on my shoulders when I get too much sun. Ears are pierced. Nose is not. Needles that close to my face are a no thanks. (My ears were done when I was too young to tell my mom no way.) Bangs that I usually sweep to the side because they get in my eyes way too often. Yeah, but I'm giving you a freebie where there's no weirdness or uncomfortableness.
It makes total sense. You guys are brothers.
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I know you do. He annoys the shit out of me complaining about how you annoy the shit out of him. He's probably one of the better people to learn from, though. I also might be a little bit biased.
Why not trim your bangs if they get in your eyes? Do you sweep them to the same side, or just whatever gets your hair out of your eyes fast enough?
He also used to do this thing where he'd touch right in front of his left ear with his middle and ring finger when he was anxious about something. Like right where your jaw hinges. I don't know if he does that anymore.
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Oh. Sorry I guess. I mean not really, I don't regret annoying him. Besides if he wasn't so hard headed maybe I wouldn't annoy him so much. ... No that's a lie. I totally would. Can you fight?
Last time I cut my bangs it was... an experience. A bad experience. I used to get someone at the facility I'm from to do it but. Not going back there. Maybe I'll try again sometime. Whatever side. They're at an awkward length where they like fall in my face no matter what I do. Wow, I'm talking way too much about my hair for this to actually be interesting.
Good to know, very good to know. You're like the Noodles whisperer. I'll have to keep an eye for it. Any other tips and tricks I should know?
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Don't be sorry. He's annoyed by pretty much everything, so I'm used to it. And him. But yes, I can fight. Not really the same way most people do. I'm better at deflecting and using peoples' center of gravity and their momentum against them, listening to where they are in relation to myself, paying attention to the shift in the air. I'm better at one-on-one, for obvious reasons. Kind of terrible if it's myself against many. I'm sure none of that made any sense.
You're not talking too much. I asked because I want to know. The more details, the better the mental image is. I can't really put a puzzle together if I don't have all the pieces.
I'm not any kind of whisperer, I'm just exactly what you said: his brother. And as his brother, I'm probably expected to show some amount of loyalty or something, so I'll be holding on to the rest of his secrets. For now.
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So you're basically a cute less broody Daredevil. That's pretty cool. You should show me some of what you know so I can use it on your brother because all of that sounds bad ass. It totally made sense though. You've still got your 6th sense or whatever. Like when you know people are watching you, right?
I'm a puzzle? Wow, you must really be bored.
Alright. Fair enough. I can respect a loyal dude. I'll probably figure them out anyway.
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