open;

[outlines]

Is it really so hard to use proper grammar and punctuation? Come on.

Comments

[outlines]

A. She's not my girlfriend. She's not flirting. Cut it out. B. Why do you assume a scar means she's been the cause of something, and not that she could have been a victim, or just in the wrong place at the wrong time?

I'm pissed at Art. Like always.

[frats]

A. That was two things but yeah, okay. We'll go with those. Sure. I'm convinced. Really. B. She doesn't seem like the victim type. She was harassing your brother like she didn't fear the dude and carrying a crowbar. Why do you just trust her?

Exactly, so why is it making you grumpy?

[outlines]

Can we not argue semantics right now? And I'm not saying she IS a victim, just that you can't assume things about someone right off the bat. You don't know what that scar is from. But you could ask.

She hasn't given me a reason not to trust her. She also hasn't given me a reason TO trust her. I'm neutral.

It just is. I don't understand how he can be so fucking stupid sometimes.

[frats]

I don't know Miss Aurora Sweet well enough to ask her. Maybe you should.

Uh huh. I'm definitely getting a neutral vibe off of you.

He does what he thinks is right, even if it is fucking stupid. Do you need me to give him a swirlie?

[outlines]

You know, getting to know someone usually starts by asking questions. I'm just saying.

No. That'll just piss him off even more and he'll just be extra shitty and I'm too exhausted to handle any more of his bullshit today.

[frats]

Pass. I know you and that's good enough. But if she tries to stab you to death or bludgeon you to death, I want your last thoughts to be, "wow, Benji was right."

Is this a pie day? Should I get a pie too? We can eat the whole thing and hate the world.

[outlines]

Let's be real. If that happens, my last thought is probably not going to make any sense.

Tea AND pie? ... Is this a distraction? Like, not an Art's-an-Asshole-What's-New distraction.

[frats]

Yeah. Probably. "Aah, this tea tastes ni- argh knife!"

What would I be distracting from? That doesn't sound like me at all.

[outlines]

Where is Dodge during this hypothetical murder mystery?

It sounds exactly like you.

[frats]

That's the mystery part. When I write your biography I'll title it "Where is Dodge?"

Can't I just want pie?

[outlines]

Somehow, I don't like the mystery revolving around my dog.

Did you do something? What did you do?

[frats]

We don't always get to pick how our murder mysteries go.

Why do you just assume I did something? I didn't do anything.

[outlines]

Yeah, but I feel like I should get a say in this one.

Ben Jamin.

[frats]

Nope. Sorry. I don't make the rules. Maybe she locked him in a room while she murdered you.

I'm serious. I just want pie. Can't a guy just want pie every now and then?

[outlines]

You know, I thought she was kind of weird, but you're definitely getting up there. Like almost the same level of weirdness.

I guess. Don't bring apple. Or do, if you want more pie for yourself.

[frats]

How dare you. Putting all this tea back right now.

I was hoping it'd prompt you to say what kind of pie you want.

[outlines]

Oh no, what will I do now that I'll only have seventeen kinds?

"Don't bring apple" pretty much means "I'll eat anything but apple".

[frats]

Uh huh. I'm not going to say I'm judging you.

Even rhubarb? Gross. Cherry it is.

[outlines]

Wait, no, cherry is worse.

[frats]

Why don't you like good things?

What kind of pie do YOU want?

[outlines]

The texture is weird, all right?

Is there banana cream?

[frats]

Who even are you.

Yes. Is that what you want?

[outlines]

Someone with good taste and a dislike for things that feel like cold eyeballs.

Yes. And the tea.

[frats]

Don't ruin cherry pie for me. Oh my god. Why. I'm going to think that next time I eat it.

And the dog food.